The salary conversation nobody taught you to have

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Hello team,

A few years ago, I coached a mid-level product manager through a job offer. She was talented, experienced, and genuinely excited about the role. The company offered £72,000. She thought it was fair.

She almost said yes on the spot.

Instead, we spent 20 minutes preparing. She went back with one calm, confident ask.

She got £84,000. Same job. Same company. Two-day gap between the offers.

The extra £12,000 wasn't the result of aggression, manipulation, or some secret negotiation black belt. It was the result of doing the three things that most mid-level professionals never do.

This week, let's talk about the salary negotiation secrets that high earners use — and that nobody ever teaches you in your actual career.

Most people think salary negotiation is about what you're worth. It's not.

It's about what you can demonstrate you're worth.

There's a difference.

When you walk into a salary conversation with a number and no context, you're asking someone to trust your self-assessment. That's a weak position.

When you walk in with evidence, market data, documented impact, specific outcomes you've delivered, you're shifting the conversation from opinion to fact.

High earners do this instinctively. They come prepared with:

This is called the Evidence Portfolio. It doesn't have to be a document. It's a mental framework. But it changes everything about how you carry yourself in the room.

When you can articulate your value clearly, the other person's job becomes justifying not paying you, not the other way around.

Here's something companies know that candidates don't:

Whoever says a number first, loses.

Not always. Not dramatically. But statistically, the first number anchors the entire conversation.

If a recruiter asks, "What are your salary expectations?" before making an offer, that's not small talk. It's a strategy. They want your ceiling before they've revealed their floor.

Most mid-level professionals comply. They give a number. The company comes in just under it. Everyone moves on. The candidate feels like they negotiated because there was a conversation.

They didn't negotiate. They disclosed.

Instead, when asked early for expectations, redirect:

"I want to make sure I understand the full scope of the role before naming a number. Could you share the band you've budgeted for this position?"

If they push: "I'm open, what range have you set for this level?"

You'll be surprised how often they just tell you.

And if the band they reveal is higher than what you were going to ask for? You've just gained thousands of pounds without saying a single thing.

This is the most uncomfortable tactic in negotiation. It's also the most effective.

After you make your ask, stop talking.

Most people can't do this. They get anxious in the silence and start filling it. They qualify their request. They back-pedal. They offer reassurances: "But I'm flexible, obviously..."

The moment you do that, you've undercut yourself.

Here's what actually happens when you stay silent after making an ask: the other person feels obligated to respond. And often, their response reveals far more than you expected, how much flexibility actually exists, what the real constraints are, or whether they're simply stalling.

Practise this. It feels unnatural at first. But silence, used deliberately, signals confidence. And confidence, in a negotiation, is currency.

There are three moments when you have maximum leverage in a salary conversation:

Moment One: After a verbal offer, before you sign. This is the most obvious window. Use it. Always.

Moment Two: After a significant win. You just delivered a project that exceeded expectations. The business acknowledged it. This is a natural moment to open a conversation about compensation, not as a demand, but as a logical continuation of the recognition already given.

Moment Three: During annual review prep, not during the review. If you wait until you're sitting in the review meeting, it's too late. Decisions have already been made. Budgets have already been allocated.

The best negotiators plant the seed two to three months before the formal conversation. They make their case early, casually, with evidence. By the time the review arrives, the decision has already been influenced.

Timing isn't manipulation. It's awareness. Know when the door is open.

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When a company says "That's the best we can do," most people accept it as truth.

It rarely is.

"That's the best we can do" usually means: "That's the best we planned to do before you pushed back."

When you hear it, don't panic. Don't fold. And don't escalate emotionally.

Instead, try this:

"I appreciate you sharing that. The base is one piece, can we talk about what flexibility looks like on [signing bonus / additional leave / review timeline / remote flexibility / professional development budget]?"

You've just shifted the frame. If the base truly is fixed, the total package often isn't. And sometimes, a £3,000 signing bonus or an accelerated review window at six months is more valuable than the base adjustment you were originally after.

The people who get the best outcomes don't win by demanding more. They win by expanding what's on the table.

The gap between what most mid-level professionals earn and what they could earn is not usually a skills gap.

It's a conversation gap.

People who earn more aren't smarter. They aren't always more qualified. They have, at some point, learned to have the uncomfortable conversation, calmly, with evidence, and without apologising for it.

Your salary doesn't just reflect your performance. It reflects your willingness to advocate for yourself.

If you've never done it, the first time is the hardest. But it gets easier. And the compounding effect of even one successful negotiation — played forward across years of raises, pension contributions, and future offer benchmarks — is significant.

Don't leave it on the table.

Until next week,

🔒 Want the Full Salary Negotiation Toolkit?

In the premium section, I share the exact frameworks I use when coaching professionals through high-stakes salary conversations:

These are the tools that turn a £72,000 offer into an £84,000 one. In two days. Without a single awkward moment.