Relationships are so important, but we often don’t spend enough time working on them. How do you expect people to trust and respect you, and feel empowered to do their greatest work if you haven’t worked hard on establishing meaningful relationships with them?

Relationships take time, it’s a daily process and something we constantly need to be conscious of and on the lookout for opportunities to improve on.

If you haven’t already, you know what to do:

How do you Build Big Relationships?

1) Know your people - it starts by listening and getting to know the individual more. What are their hobbies? What do they feel passionate about? What makes them nervous? What drives them? What are their career aspirations? What are their values and beliefs? They won’t be open from day 1, but over time they’ll start to open up more to you.

2) Genuinely Care - care deeply about the people that you work with. Always have their best interests at heart, even if it’s an unpopular opinion, always do right by them. Be a massive advocate for your team.

3) Integrity - being open and honest about challenges and weaknesses builds trust. This involves admitting mistakes and taking ownership of them, and always doing the right thing even when no one is looking. It’s difficult for relationships to blossom if you’re not leading by example and developing trust with your people.

4) Engage rather than Instruct - I am sure you have seen the Leader vs Manager differences littered everywhere. Focus on spending as much of your time in Leader Mode. Managers instruct, Leaders Engage.

For example, rather than email or Slack an individual, “Hey Henry, do this task for me” (Manager Mode). Set up a call and get face time with them. By talking to them you are not only getting the task done, but you are also working on your relationship at the same time and empowering them to voice their opinion and contribute. “Hey Henry, I am working on this task and I would love to have your support and input, you free to jump on a quick call to talk through it?” (Leader Mode).

5) Humility - always see the organisation as flat, yes there is a hierarchy but don’t let this interfere with your relationships. Whether you are interacting with the CEO or Reception, treat everyone with respect and take a moment to find out how are they doing. Be kind. There should be a congruency between what you say and how you behave. Being vulnerable and admitting when you don’t have the answers or suck at something encourages other people to follow. Just be humble, never afraid to muck in and take care of the small things.

6) Consistency - there is no single event that occurs for you to establish relationships with your team. It’s a daily and ongoing process. It’s all the small events over a period of time that add up and accumulate. Consistent nurturing of the relationship will win you trust and respect. Always have their back, always support them, always empower them, and always be attentive to their needs.

When you have developed strong relationships with the people in your team based on mutual trust and respect, you’ll begin to see a profound effect on your engagement levels.

All the best

David

Resources Of The Week

• TedTalk - Marget Hefferman - Dare to Disagree - great TedTalk on why disagreeing actually sparks creativity and new ideas. Don’t be an echo chamber, challenge the status quo.

• Book - Peaks and Valleys by Spencer Johnson - read the full story portrayed through a series of conversations and two people’s experiences that occur up on peaks and down in valleys, a young man comes to make some startling discoveries. Eventually, he comes to understand how he can use the old man's remarkable principles and practical tools in good and bad times and becomes more calm and successful himself.

• Blog Article - Seven Surprises for New Managers - common management misconceptions from the team at Mindtools. A great resource for all leaders.

Quote of the Week

Last week’s issue: Managing Upwards

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