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Feedback: Focus on Behavior, Not the Person
Leadership Admin
February 13, 2025
Last week’s issue: Team Accountability While Being Human
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What we’ll learn in today’s Newsletter
How to deliver feedback that focuses on behavior, not personal traits.
Why behavior-based feedback reduces defensiveness and increases clarity.
The impact of constructive feedback on performance and team culture.
A step-by-step approach to giving effective feedback.
How to encourage a feedback-positive workplace.
Practical examples of shifting from judgmental to action-oriented feedback.
One of the most critical yet misunderstood aspects of leadership is feedback. Done well, it inspires growth, strengthens relationships, and drives performance. Done poorly, it can create defensiveness, disengagement, and resentment. The key to impactful feedback lies in focusing on behaviour rather than the person.
Why Feedback Often Fails
Many leaders struggle with delivering feedback because it feels personal—both for the giver and the receiver. When feedback is framed as a judgment of someone's character rather than an observation of their actions, it triggers a natural defensive response. The brain perceives it as an attack, making it difficult for the recipient to absorb the message constructively.
Consider the difference between:
“You’re unreliable.”
“I noticed you missed the last two deadlines without giving a heads-up.”
The first statement makes a sweeping judgment about the person’s character, while the second focuses on specific behaviour. By anchoring feedback in actions, we make it more actionable and less emotionally charged.
The Impact of Focusing on Behavior
Shifting feedback to focus on behavior has several advantages:
Encourages Change – People can change their actions more easily than their perceived character. Behavioral feedback provides clear guidance on what needs to improve.
Reduces Defensiveness – When feedback feels like an attack on identity, people instinctively defend themselves. Focusing on behavior keeps the conversation objective.
Builds Trust – Feedback framed around actions rather than personality fosters a culture of learning and improvement rather than fear and criticism.
Enhances Clarity – Vague feedback (e.g., "You need to be more engaged") leaves employees uncertain about what to change. Behavioral feedback (e.g., "In meetings, I’d like to see you contribute at least one idea") provides a clear path forward.
How to Deliver Behavior-Focused Feedback
1. Observe and Describe Specific Actions
Start with objective observations rather than assumptions or interpretations. Instead of saying, “You’re always negative in meetings,” say, “In the last two meetings, you pointed out challenges but didn’t offer any potential solutions.”
2. Explain the Impact
Help the person understand why the behavior matters. For example, “When you miss deadlines without communicating, it disrupts the team’s workflow and creates stress for others.” Connecting behavior to its impact increases motivation to change.
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3. Ask for Their Perspective
Feedback should be a conversation, not a lecture. Encourage dialogue by asking, “What challenges are making it difficult to meet deadlines?” This approach builds mutual understanding and creates space for collaborative problem-solving.
4. Offer Support and a Path Forward
Effective feedback isn’t just about pointing out issues—it’s about enabling improvement. Provide guidance on how they can adjust their behavior: “Let’s set up a system where you send a quick Slack update if you’re falling behind.”
5. Follow Up
Change doesn’t happen overnight. Revisit the conversation later to acknowledge progress and reinforce improvements. If needed, provide additional coaching.
Shifting to a Feedback-Positive Culture
For behavioral feedback to be effective, it needs to be a normal, ongoing practice—not a rare or dreaded event. Leaders should:
Give feedback regularly – Make it part of everyday interactions, not just performance reviews.
Model receiving feedback well – If you get defensive when receiving feedback, your team will too. Show that you welcome constructive input.
Recognize positive behaviors – Feedback isn’t just about correction. Reinforce good behavior to encourage more of it.
By making feedback a consistent and supportive practice, leaders can create an environment where people feel safe to grow, learn, and perform at their best.
Final thoughts
Great leaders don’t just point out problems—they help people improve. By focusing on behavior rather than character, feedback becomes a tool for empowerment rather than criticism. When leaders master this skill, they unlock higher performance, stronger teams, and a culture of continuous improvement.
How will you adjust your feedback approach this week?
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