Big Relationships: The Fastest Path to Influence You’re Probably Ignoring

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Welcome back to House of Leadership.
We explore what it really takes to grow and lead in high-performance environments. It’s not just about metrics, it’s about visibility, habits, leverage, and building teams that scale. Whether you’re climbing the ladder or coaching others to the top, this is your weekly playbook.

👉 This week: Big Relationships — how strategic connections accelerate your influence and opportunities.

You’ve seen it:

One leader grinds for years, quietly doing great work, waiting for their shot.
Another seems to glide upwards, always tapped for big projects, always in the room when it matters.

It’s not always about talent.
It’s about who trusts you enough to open the next door.

That comes from building — and nurturing — big relationships.

Not networking for the sake of business cards.
Not politicking for self-promotion.
But intentionally creating strong, mutual relationships with the people who can expand your reach, amplify your voice, and advocate for you when you’re not in the room.

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What are “Big Relationships”?

They’re the small number of high-impact professional relationships that disproportionately shape your career trajectory:

• Senior executives who trust your judgment

• Peers in other departments who see you as a partner, not competition

• Influential customers or partners who see you as essential to their success

• Mentors or sponsors who actively connect you to opportunities

These are leverage relationships — the kind that turn influence into acceleration.

Why Leaders Need Them

Without them, you risk:
❌ Getting overlooked for strategic projects
❌ Having your work filtered (or diluted) through layers before it reaches decision-makers
❌ Being the last to know about upcoming changes or opportunities

With them, you get:
✅ Early information and context
✅ Advocates who speak for you when you’re not in the room
✅ Invitations to the conversations that shape the business

The 4 Pillars of Building Big Relationships

1. Target Intentionally
Don’t leave this to chance. Identify the 5–10 people whose influence intersects with your goals. Think senior, cross-functional, external — but all relevant to your lane.

2. Create Value First
Big relationships start with deposits, not withdrawals. Share insights, solve problems, connect them to resources. Show you’re an asset before you need anything.

3. Show Up Consistently
It’s not one coffee and done. It’s regular touchpoints — quick updates, shared wins, and “thought you’d find this interesting” messages.

4. Deepen with Real Conversations
Go beyond surface talk. Ask about their priorities, pressures, and challenges. The deeper the understanding, the stronger the trust.

What this looks like in practice

Low-leverage leader:

• Attends meetings, speaks when asked, leaves without follow-up.

High-leverage leader:

• Circles back with a brief, sharp insight linked to the exec’s goal.

• Shares relevant data or a case win that aligns to their priorities.

• Offers help before being asked — and delivers quickly.

A quick story from my world

Early in my leadership career, I made a point to get to know the head of Sales — not just in passing, but to understand their revenue pressures and big bets for the year.

Six months later, when a major customer was at risk, they didn’t escalate through layers.
They called me directly.

That one relationship shortcut the process, built trust, and turned into repeat opportunities to work on high-visibility accounts.

Without that relationship, I would’ve been just another name in the org chart.

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How to Start This Week

• Identify your top 5 big relationship targets.

• For each, find one way to add value without asking for anything.

• Set a recurring reminder to touch base every 4–6 weeks.

• Keep a simple relationship tracker to log touchpoints and context.

Bottom line?
Big relationships aren’t about politics.
They’re about trust, timing, and value — the currency of influence.

Build them deliberately, and you’ll stop waiting for opportunities to find you.
They’ll start coming straight to your door.

🔒 Up next, in the Premium section…
I’m sharing:
📋 My Big Relationship Tracker Template (5-min weekly update)
🎯 10 conversation openers that deepen trust fast
🗺 The “Relationship Map” method for spotting hidden influence paths
💌 5 high-impact “value deposits” you can send this month
🛠 My 90-Day Big Relationship Plan for leaders who want faster career acceleration

Because influence isn’t just about what you know — it’s about who knows you can deliver.

👉 [Upgrade to Premium to access the Big Relationship Toolkit »]

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